Family Reunion
by Alley Cat Sunflower
Summary: AU. Sephiroth's day is going fine until Hojo charges him with showing his three alleged half-brothers around Shinra. Fortunately for him, Angeal and Genesis are on hand to help out, but the three quickly realize they were forced to bite off more than they could chew. T for suggestive themes and violence; not fluffy. No overt pairings. I do not own Final Fantasy or the cover!


Sephiroth could count the times he was speechless on one hand. One of them was the worst day of his life—the night he found himself face-to-face with his three apparent half-brothers.

That afternoon had been normal enough, if a little on the boring side. Meals, training, hanging out with his only two friends in the world. That fateful evening, he had been leaning against the wall, reading. Genesis lay on the floor, sketching something secretively in his diary. Angeal strummed his guitar lazily, staring idly out the window at the sunset.

And then the messenger came. Just your average infantryman, if a little younger than most, but bearing potentially life-changing news.

"E-excuse me—Sephiroth?"

He'd been trembling in his boots when Sephiroth looked him up and down. He held his helmet in shaky hands, spiky blonde hair quivering and naturally blue eyes downcast. When Sephiroth said nothing, the infantryman cleared his throat, twisting his helmet.

Genesis quirked an eyebrow as the silence extended, looking up from his drawings, and Angeal rested a hand on the strings of his guitar to silence the last lingering notes of a song.

"Um, Professor Hojo was looking for you," he mumbled, and Sephiroth set his teeth automatically. "He said something about… genever and reunions, and then t-told me to tell you to meet with him immediately."

"Jenova?" asked Sephiroth, surprised, and shut his book with one hand. Of course, for all he knew the infantryman could be right and Hojo was just rambling about gin, but that seemed unlikely (even if Sephiroth _had _run across quite a few empty bottles in his office). "Anything else?"

"N-no, sir," responded the infantryman, finally finding the courage to look up. "He said more, but… I didn't get any of it." Sephiroth nodded understandingly; Hojo _did_ have a tendency to mutter without making the addressee of his words clear: himself or his supposed addressee.

"Dismissed," he announced, and the infantryman jumped, gave a salute, and—looking relieved—vanished back into the hallway.

"I should go," murmured Sephiroth distractedly. He never looked forward to Hojo's summons, given that almost all of them culminated in one usually unpleasant test or another. Why was he talking about Jenova? He hadn't spoken of his mother in years…

Genesis interrupted his restless thoughts with a sigh, turning onto his back and using his diary as a pillow. "Does that mean we have to leave?" he asked mildly, blinking up at him with arms folded across his chest. "I was just getting comfortable…"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes at his friend's plaintive tone, striding towards the door standing ajar. He didn't have time for this. "Angeal," he said, pausing without turning around. "Make sure Genesis doesn't destroy my room again."

"That was _one time_!" protested Genesis as Sephiroth shut the door behind him, taking comfort in Angeal's salute and chuckle.

His head was in the clouds the whole way to Hojo's office, but his feet knew the path well enough that it didn't matter. Left; right; up the stairs; passcode ("swordfish"); around the corner; and… stop.

Why Hojo hadn't just showed up himself since they were only one floor apart, Sephiroth had no idea, but he was about to find out. He knocked on the door, somewhat apprehensively, and waited. After counting three seconds of silence, as always, Sephiroth walked through just as Hojo muttered "Come in"—far too quietly for him to have heard through a closed door.

"What do you want?" asked Sephiroth, glancing around, and Hojo turned around almost as though his presence surprised him, grinning gleefully (or perhaps wickedly). That expression lent credibility to the widely believed idea that he was a legitimate 'mad scientist'.

"I want you to meet your family," cackled Hojo.

Sephiroth's heart skipped a beat, but he frowned. "My mother is dead," he said slowly, hesitantly. Hojo had said so himself. "Did you find my father?" Not that _that _mattered to him as much. The thought of his father's identity had never been of much consequence, for some reason. Only his mother ever stuck out in his mind.

"No," responded Hojo, stalking across his office and rapping four times on the wall: it retracted to reveal a hidden door. "No, no, no. I mean your half-brothers."

He sounded condescending, as though Sephiroth somehow should have known. The most Sephiroth could muster was a feeble echo of Hojo's own words. "Half… brothers?" he whispered. Hojo had never told him about anything like _this_, and his mind instantly set to work rationalizing.

Whoever lurked beyond that door couldn't actually be related to him, right? He must be referring to other children the scientists raised in secret, like himself—hence the 'half'. But as the door opened with an ominous creak, and three teenage boys stepped out with a strange mixture of caution and jauntiness, Sephiroth knew that could not be the case.

They all possessed the same silver hair as he did, the same mako-blue eyes. Though the resemblance was strong in all three, one of them in particular looked alarmingly like a younger version of himself. But Hojo had said Sephiroth took after his mother—and if Jenova had died shortly after he was born, and these three looked much younger, then how—?

"Brother!" exclaimed the apparent leader of the boys, ignoring Hojo completely, and Sephiroth stared at him as they all approached, realizing with a jolt that their pupils were almost feline. "We've waited so long to meet you!"

"Yeah," agreed the one that looked least like him, well-muscled with slicked-back hair and the beginnings of sideburns on the periphery of his young face.

"Fifteen whole years," added the slender one with the longest hair of the three, his voice light and arrogant, but Hojo cut him off before he could say anything else.

"These are Kadaj"—Hojo indicated the one that had first approached, who inclined his head slightly—"Yazoo"—he gestured towards the one whom he had interrupted—"and Loz," he finished, pointing at the one that least resembled Sephiroth.

Sephiroth, meanwhile, could only nod. His mind was just beginning to regain some of its faculties, but it was still chewing on the Jenova problem. How could she have had children so much younger than Sephiroth when Hojo had told her she'd died just after his birth…?

"Family is important," continued the scientist, rubbing his hands together almost evilly. "They've never been outside the science department before—much like yourself when you were their age. So, I want you to be the one to show them around."

"Oh, yes, please do!" exclaimed Kadaj, smiling unnervingly at him. "We're dying to know all about you and Mother. And Shinra, of course." As he spoke, the other two nodded in agreement, stepping forward.

"About… Mother?" asked Sephiroth, struggling to find words and taking a step back as the triplets converged on him. "Ask Hojo," he said, when they all murmured agreement. "I don't know anything. Less now than I did before," he added pointedly, staring at the scientist in the vain hopes of a concise explanation.

But Hojo merely waved them out of his office with a dreamy "Play nicely, now," and Sephiroth had no real choice but to lead his half-brothers out the door, down the stairs, and along the hallway. With any luck, he'd be able to consign Genesis and Angeal to babysitting duty alongside him.

"Where are we going, brother?" asked Loz curiously.

"I'm _not_ your brother," snapped Sephiroth, before he could stop himself. Suddenly being informed that he'd unknowingly and inexplicably been a sibling for fifteen whole years—well, it was his humble opinion that he got a free pass for being snippy.

"We share the same mother," asserted Yazoo airily. "That's good enough for us."

Sephiroth sighed heavily, pausing in front of his door. Was it a good idea to show these three where he slept? Something about them was definitely off. "How are you even alive?" he asked finally, leaning against the wall and glancing uncertainly between the three of them.

"What do you mean, how are we alive?" laughed Kadaj. "Jenova is our mother." He said nothing about his other parent—evidently, his father was of no more interest to him than Sephiroth's own.

"But Jenova _died_ just after I was born, and you're several years younger than I am," protested Sephiroth frustratedly. Procreating after death wasn't a thing, right? _Right?_ "Don't you understand? Your very existence is impossible!"

"You must have been lied to," responded Kadaj, and the notion that Sephiroth's only source of information was unreliable was _not_ an agreeable one. "You see, we look like Jenova. Like you." Except their eyes, he thought agitatedly, running a hand through his hair. Their eyes were different—almost _wrong_.

Struggling to make sense of his suddenly nonsensical world, Sephiroth rummaged frantically through his mind for sensible solutions. Yes, that was it: elongated pupils must be an anomalous reaction to mako exposure.

Feeling marginally better, Sephiroth shook his head for lack of anything else to do with himself and opened the door.

"Hell… o," greeted Angeal, looking up from his guitar, and a musical phrase hung incomplete in the air as he and Genesis both regarded the three new arrivals standing in the doorway.

"This is my room," announced Sephiroth warily, stepping inside and glancing back at his curious new relatives waiting in the doorway. "Angeal, Genesis," he continued, throat constricting in anticipation of the sentence to come. "Meet my… half-siblings."

Genesis's eyes widened, his mouth slightly open; Angeal had much the same reaction, but recovered himself quickly. "These are Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo," he added reluctantly, pointing to each of the triplets in turn as they stepped into the room.

"You're Sephiroth's… _friends_?" asked Loz, crossing his arms almost threateningly, and ran his fingers along a vambrace on his left arm: a spark or two of electricity danced between two prongs close to his wrist.

"I like to think so, yes," shot back Genesis, bristling, and the two exchanged a furious glare.

"…Are you three going to join SOLDIER?" asked Angeal hastily, setting his guitar aside and getting to his feet, keeping his voice friendly (but Sephiroth could see anxiety in his eyes).

Yazoo's disinterested gaze shifted from Loz and Genesis's silent staring contest to Angeal, but it was Kadaj who answered. "No," he smiled, standing on one hip. "I don't take orders from anyone."

Angeal raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth, ostensibly to lecture him on duty and honor—but didn't have the chance to say anything. "_Giving _orders is more his style," supplied Yazoo, leaning against the wall and examining his fingernails.

Kadaj whirled around on his brother, his hand flying to the hilt of a double-bladed katana at his side, but Yazoo didn't even flinch. "What?" he asked, meeting Kadaj's gaze evenly as he crossed his arms. "It's true."

"_Here's_ an order," sighed Sephiroth, hiding his face in his hand momentarily. "You're going to let me show you the Shinra headquarters like Hojo said, and then you're going to go right back to his lab and—"

"_Back to Hojo_?" asked Kadaj, as though the very idea was ludicrous, as his eyes widened. "You're our long-lost brother! Family should stick together."

"I haven't been _lost_," retorted Sephiroth, staring at him.

"Then where have you been?" asked Loz confusedly, turning to face him (Genesis, covering a fake yawn, subtly gave him the finger). "We haven't ever met you before."

Sephiroth could feel his inner calm draining away at an alarming rate. Nothing in living memory had ever successfully aggravated him to this extent in this short a time. "I've been in SOLDIER for the last five years."

"And before that?" asked Kadaj softly, taking a jaunty step forward and staring into Sephiroth's eyes. Any intimidating effect this might ordinarily have had was lessened considerably by the fact that he was half a foot shorter.

Sephiroth glared stonily down at him. "Kept secret, just like you."

"This is all very heartwarming," interrupted Genesis, getting to his feet and stretching, "but why don't we tour Shinra like we're supposed to, and figure out what to do after that later?"

"_We_?" asked Yazoo contemptuously, flipping his hair.

"Yes, _we_," said Angeal, surprisingly sternly, and stared down each triplet in turn: not even Kadaj could hold his unrelenting gaze. "There's been a slight change of plan. Genesis and I will accompany you."

"Awwww," complained Loz, and Sephiroth grit his teeth at the childish whine. He was supposed to be _related _to this oaf?!

Evidently, Kadaj was no more pleased with the noise than he was. "Shut up!" he hissed, punching him in the arm none too lightly, and Loz yelped, holding his bicep: if Sephiroth wasn't much mistaken, those were tears welling up in his eyes. "Not in front of our brother!"

Yazoo smirked, nodding his agreement, and Sephiroth's patience finally, prematurely gave up its ghost. Growling indistinctly, he strode towards the door without further ado. As he went, he gripped the backs of Yazoo and Kadaj's necks, feeling only a little guilty when they writhed beneath the pressure of his fingers.

It was going to be a very long tour.

* * *

"…And this is the shop," said Sephiroth hoarsely, at least an hour later, and swayed in place exhaustedly. He couldn't decide which was worse: walking down endless flights of stairs, or cramming into a small elevator alongside five other people.

It might have helped if a certain redhead hadn't asked about their exposure to literature once they hit the library. Trust Genesis to almost get in a brawl with a teenager over high literature. Particularly as Yazoo's only crime had been to dismiss it as a fairy tale, which marked the _only _point on which Sephiroth remotely agreed. (He may have been a voracious reader all his life, but he'd never had much of an appetite for fiction of any sort, especially not _poetry_.)

Of course, Genesis had only asked about which books they'd read because Loz was evidently almost illiterate, as evidenced by his complete ignorance regarding the history of Midgar. According to Kadaj, words made his brother's head hurt, and that was just another drop in the comprehensive ocean of reasons he was the leader among them.

It was true that Kadaj seemed to display the widest range of emotion of the three of them—but, as Sephiroth found out the hard way, that did make him a little on the volatile side. Apparently, he was hell-bent on restoring Jenova to life for some reason, and got a tad… _fanatical_ when his extremely questionable judgment was naturally questioned.

Sephiroth still had no idea why he and the others seemed so fixated on 'Mother' when she was dead and buried as far as he was concerned, but if he heard _that word_ one more time, he was going to take Masamune and shove it up—

"Can we go shopping?" asked Loz brightly, staring at the item counter with a good deal more excitement than the situation warranted.

"Do you have money?" countered Sephiroth, crossing his arms sternly, and Loz's crestfallen expression was all the only answer he needed… but a moment later, he smiled once more.

His attention had evidently been captured by the latest models of Hardy-Daytona lined up against the wall, and he was followed closely by his brothers (Kadaj pushed in front of the other two, as though it had been his idea first).

Sephiroth, meanwhile, kept one eye on them from a distance. Angeal and Genesis hesitated before resting comforting hands on Sephiroth's listless shoulders. "You're doing just fine," reassured the former, looking him in the eye. "No one's killed anyone yet."

"Not for lack of trying," moaned Sephiroth, raising both hands to his face and running his fingers through his hair agitatedly. At this rate, he was going to unravel completely. "They're at each other's throats. All the time. How have they _lived_ this long?"

"I don't know," confessed Genesis. "But, with any luck…" He narrowed his eyes at the triplets, plainly lost in thought, and Sephiroth noted the gleam that meant he was going to suggest something crazy. (The last time _that_ happened, Sephiroth had worked for weeks to scrub the mental images out of his head.)

Angeal, apparently, had the same recollection. "Genesis?" he asked warily, crossing his arms with undisguised suspicion written all over. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking," said Genesis, smiling lopsidedly, "that it might be time to make our escape. _Listen_," he added exasperatedly, as Sephiroth and Angeal automatically shook their heads, "do you really want to spend the rest of your evening looking after these monsters?"

Sephiroth bit his lip. "Hojo will blame me if anything happens," he protested, though his words were reluctant: Genesis had an extremely valid point. "They _can't_ be left alone. They're in a new and unfamiliar environment—it's too much for them to handle. They'll kill each other!"

Genesis gave a brief, annoyed sigh. "I think your sanity is a _little_ more important than the lives of these… whelps," he finished disdainfully, and Sephiroth pursed his lips in consideration. That much was true, as far as he was concerned… even if that _was_ a somewhat harsh way of putting it.

Besides, reflected Sephiroth, his resolve gradually gaining strength—besides, nothing Hojo could do as retaliation would ever be as bad as saddling him with _this_. It was, without doubt, the hardest mission he had ever been assigned in all his years in SOLDIER, and leaving it unaccomplished was becoming more and more tempting.

"Let's do it," he said quietly, after careful evaluation of the situation; the triplets were still busy ogling the motorcycles. "But they'll come after me, you know." Despite his coldness, they'd displayed far more respect for Sephiroth than either Angeal or Genesis, coupled with a strange fascination with even the most mundane aspects of his life. ("What do you do in your spare time?" "What's your favorite color?" "If I were to start an organization for those who witness Jenova's resurrection—would you join?")

Angeal sighed heavily, shaking his head. "You don't think they'll give up if they can't find you, and return to Hojo?"

Sephiroth laughed humorlessly. "Do you think 'give up' is in their vocabulary?" he countered. Kadaj had said in no uncertain terms that he would stop at nothing but death to achieve his ridiculous goals, and Loz was adamant that family was of paramount importance. Yazoo at least seemed a little more detached, but Sephiroth had little doubt he would follow wherever his brothers led.

"No," admitted Angeal, kicking the carpet. "So I suppose we'll have to find somewhere they can't go." He paused. "A bar? They're not old enough to drink yet, so…"

"But the security is never very good in the slums," responded Genesis, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "They'll be able to find a way in. Besides, depending on how determined they are, they might find out we've gone there in the past. It would need to be somewhere _no one _would think to look for us."

"Somewhere no one would look for us," repeated Sephiroth slowly, a terrible idea making its way into his head, written in black and yellow. "Somewhere with beds so we could spend the night, and then we'd be able to face the situation with clear heads tomorrow."

Angeal's eyes widened in horror. "You're _not_ suggesting…"

"We're First Class SOLDIERs with honorable reputations," said Sephiroth, closing his eyes briefly and shaking his head. "No one would think to look for us in a sordid place like _that_. And it's comparatively well-guarded, too. Those three definitely won't be able to get in there."

"Hang on, I'm missing something," said Genesis, frowning and holding up a hand: Angeal's mouth hardened into a thin line. "Where, exactly, are we going?"

"The Honey Bee Inn," said Sephiroth dispassionately, and Genesis's eyes widened as he inhaled sharply and promptly choked on his own saliva. Angeal glanced over at the triplets worriedly, but they were preoccupied with running their hands lovingly over the motorcycle controls: Sephiroth supposed that was against the rules, but he wasn't about to interrupt them.

"_What?_" coughed Genesis, watering eyes filled with something like betrayal. "But—that's—!"

"Don't look at me like that!" snapped Sephiroth impatiently, crossing his arms and looking between his stricken friends. "I never said we had to _do _anything." He sighed. "Look, if you two have a more likely way to make sure these idiots never find us, I'd love to hear it."

Silence. As Sephiroth stared each of them down in turn, Angeal bowed his head (though his teeth were clenched) and Genesis closed his eyes defeatedly, shaking his head. "Let's just be about it," he muttered. "Before they lose interest in those blasted motorcycles."

The other two nodded in agreement and made their way stealthily back towards the elevator. Sephiroth glanced over at the triplets apprehensively. Enthralled with the vehicles, they almost seemed innocent—but then Yazoo tried to steal some sort of a gun from Loz, and the doors closed just as he was shoved to the ground as retribution.

* * *

"Three member cards, please," said Sephiroth uncomfortably, staring around at the garish lights. He'd only ever heard of this place from some of the grunts at Shinra, usually involving rumors about the President and/or Lazard Deusericus's heritage. He didn't expect it to be so… gaudy.

"Sure, mister," leered the man at the door, looking the three of them up and down, but evidently found nothing amiss in their admittedly shady attitudes. "SOLDIERs get a discount—first night's free." He thrust three flimsy paper tickets at Sephiroth, damp from sweaty hands. "Turn those in next time for the cards themselves."

"…Thanks," grimaced Sephiroth disgustedly. This had better be worth it, he reflected, as he handed Angeal and Genesis their tickets (they stared down at them as though shellshocked). If those triplets somehow tracked them to the seediest establishment in Midgar, he'd probably have to kill them himself just to maintain his reputation.

The man waved them through the doorway. "Enjoy, boys!" he called, with a sickeningly knowing grin, and Sephiroth clenched his teeth as he shoved the curtains aside—Genesis flailed as he was caught in them—and took a deep breath, stepping through into an equally showy waiting room.

"Welcome," smiled a receptionist, interlacing his fingers. "Is this your first time at the Honey Bee Inn?" he added, his eyes flicking between their tickets.

"…Yes," responded Angeal, sounding as though he had to force the word out. "And I hope to Gaia it's the last," he added under his breath, shooting a glance out the corner of his eye. "Sephiroth, I will personally kill you if word of this excursion _ever_ gets out."

"I'll help," added Genesis fervently, looking almost terrified as he examined a wall plastered with pictures of women Sephiroth supposed were meant to be beautiful. They all wore too much makeup, and their bee costumes were frankly ridiculous.

After several minutes of dull silence, the clerk spoke up again. "Have you gentlemen made your decisions?" he prompted, and Sephiroth realized with a jolt that he was supposed to actually _pick_ one of these girls.

"Can we all pick the same one?" wondered Genesis aloud, and Sephiroth and Angeal exchanged a glance. How could he ask something like that so thoughtlessly? Didn't he understand the implications?!

The clerk, meanwhile, only smiled behind his hand. "We only have a couple girls who would be up for that kind of exertion," he said thoughtfully, somehow retaining his composure. "And only one is available right now. Would you like to choose her?"

"Yes, please," said Genesis tentatively, and Angeal and Sephiroth reluctantly nodded.

"Fi-_o_-na!" called the clerk, addressing the closed door next to the portraits, and Angeal pulled Genesis away just in time: it opened to reveal a blonde-haired girl in one of those stupid bee outfits. Sephiroth, meanwhile, struggled to maintain a straight face. Were some men legitimately aroused by the thought of making love to an insect?

"Welcome~!" she chirped, giving them a wide, fake smile.

Angeal cleared his throat, turning gradually more crimson, and glanced away from her. Genesis, meanwhile, gazed helplessly over at Sephiroth, who looked her up and down expressionlessly. She was definitely in need of a few more clothes.

"Follow me~!" added the girl happily, sashaying up the stairs, and Sephiroth sighed heavily, taking Genesis and Angeal's arms and dragging them behind him. Now that they were out of the lobby and couldn't be seen from the doorway, the triplets would _never _find them, and he allowed himself a small, self-satisfied smile.

When they reached the top of the stairs, the girl paused, and Sephiroth realized that they were meant to pick a room. As Angeal was still apparently incapacitated and Genesis wasn't in much of a better state, Sephiroth closed his eyes, spun around a few times with his arm extended, and opened his eyes to find his hand pointing to the door closest to the entrance.

The girl nodded and ushered them through, still maintaining that bright, false smile. As the door closed behind them, the girl leaned against it casually. "What can I do for you sirs~?" she asked, with deliberate suggestivity: Sephiroth was too busy scouting out potential escape routes (diving out the window or hiding in the bathtub were the only solutions that came to mind) to bother paying attention to her coquetry.

"Look," sighed Angeal, holding up his hands as though surrendering. "I'm sorry, but we're really not interested in your… er, _services_. We're just staying here to escape his three crazy brothers, and this is one place they can't go."

"Oh," said the girl, clearly disappointed for one reason or another, and crossed her arms. "And… you want to stay overnight?" she added curiously, forgetting to be flirtatious as she took in Genesis's clear exhaustion. She was ironically much more attractive that way, reflected Sephiroth—though by no means was she his type.

"Yeah," sighed Genesis, flopping onto his back on the bed and closing his eyes exhaustedly. "If possible. It's been one hell of an evening."

"You sure I can't help ease your worries~?" asked the girl with exaggerated shyness, resuming her teasing attitude as she locked the door and took a couple steps forward.

"_Yes_," asserted Angeal, reaching automatically for the hilt of his sword and forcibly snatching his hand away from it a moment later. "We just need to lie low until the situation blows over. And don't you dare make a joke out of that!" he added sternly as the girl opened her mouth, an amused sparkle in her eyes—and she closed it again dispiritedly.

"Fine," she muttered sullenly. "You're no fun," she added in a sigh, unlocking the door again.

"What are you doing?" asked Sephiroth warily, instinctively resting his hand on the hilt of Masamune in case things got ugly. It may not have been _honorable _to kill a woman in Angeal's eyes—but fortunately, Sephiroth was not Angeal.

"Telling the clerk you're using our business as a hotel," shrugged the girl nonchalantly, and as they all moved forward, Angeal was quickest: he grasped her wrist and yanked her away from the door automatically, mumbling an apology as she yelped.

"Oh, that's more like it~!" gasped the girl, though wincing in pain, and Angeal looked mildly disgusted, rummaging through his pockets one-handed and coming up with a whopping 100 gil.

"I'm broke," shrugged Genesis, without even bothering to search through his pockets, and (trying not to think of the irony of the richest among them having the least money on hand) Sephiroth managed to contribute 300 gil to their cause.

"Is this enough to pay for the night?" asked Angeal desperately, brandishing the coins at her, and she hesitated before nodding mutely. Angeal smiled in relief and released her; she rubbed her wrist, glancing between the three of them. Sephiroth reflected briefly on how much trouble it took just to stay overnight at an establishment with 'inn' in its name.

"But… I'm going to have to stay with you so things don't look too suspicious," she added uncertainly, slipping the money down the front of her dress. "What are your names~?"

"Angeal," sighed Angeal.

"Genesis," groaned Genesis.

"Sephiroth," growled Sephiroth.

The girl nodded, her eyes scanning their weapons nervously, lingering for a particularly long time on Masamune. "Overcompensating?" she asked, and Angeal rolled his eyes. Sephiroth merely shook his head seriously, his mind elsewhere as he turned towards the window.

Something in the air was beginning to feel… different. Unstable—and getting more and more so as time ticked relentlessly onward for another, largely silent hour. Like an ominous presence, or three, descended over them… accompanied by the hum of three motorcycle engines.

No—it _couldn't_ be. That hum wasn't just in his imagination. How could they possibly track them here of all places?!

"Is everything all right?" frowned Genesis, sitting up, and Sephiroth looked distractedly over at him to find him looking extremely concerned. "You don't think—?"

"Brother!" called Kadaj's voice gleefully from outside, accompanied by the sound of engines dying, and all three of them froze, hands flying to their weapons. _I knew it! _moaned Sephiroth internally, grip on his sword tightening, though he couldn't have said how if he had tried. "We know you're in there!"

"Come out and play!" called Loz enthusiastically.

"Or we're coming _in_," added Yazoo.

"No minors allowed!" exclaimed the man at the door gruffly, and Sephiroth peered tentatively out the window to see that his brothers had evidently stolen the motorcycles from the shop. "Get out of here, punks!" He pulled his head away again, leaning against the wall and trying to devise a quick solution.

There was a laugh, a gunshot, and the sound of something heavy falling, followed by an unbearably long silence.

A chill flooded Sephiroth's body: grand theft auto and murder were both pretty high on the list of things he shouldn't have let the triplets do today. The girl, meanwhile, gave a pathetic little sound and fainted; Angeal caught her and laid her to rest on the bed as Genesis got to his feet, drawing his sword.

He had no time to say anything, however, as Sephiroth's brothers finally caught up with them: a two-pronged sword neatly cut out the doorknob, and the door swung open to reveal them standing there like particularly young models for men's leather coats. Sephiroth wondered how much time they'd spent practicing that pose.

"Found you," smiled Kadaj calmly, lovingly fingering the hilt of his weapon. "You shouldn't run off like that."

"_Run off_?" snapped Sephiroth, drawing Masamune. "I'm not the one who stole a few motorcycles, shot someone, and illegally entered a brothel within a few hours of getting out of my room for the first time."

"You don't even _care_ about Mother!" snarled Kadaj irrelevantly, eyes popping. "I'm more her son than you are! I'm trying to find her and bring her back, and here you sit in a whorehouse!"

"Are fifteen-year-olds supposed to know about whorehouses?" muttered Genesis under his breath.

"Genesis, _you_ knew about whorehouses when you were fifteen," reminded Angeal, ignoring the redhead's protests about how that was only because of certain dubious pieces of literature he had stumbled upon. "But that's really beside the point. Did you _kill_ that man?" he added urgently to the teenage trio.

"Maybe," shrugged Yazoo unconcernedly, twirling two dual-barreled pistols into his hands: evidently he'd kept the one he stole from Loz. "It was dark. I couldn't see well enough to be accurate. I might have missed his heart."

"What do you three _want_?" asked Sephiroth impatiently, holding up Masamune challengingly before Angeal could shout at them about honor. "Why is finding me important enough that you're willing to commit three crimes within the hour to do it?"

Kadaj shrugged obnoxiously. "You're family," he said, as though that explained everything. "And as I said, family should stick together. We're drawn to you, Sephiroth, and you to us."

Sephiroth shook his head, aggravated. "That's wrong. _You're_ wrong."

"Enough talking!" interrupted Loz, priming his gauntlet for battle, and Yazoo nodded in agreement, cocking his pistols. "We'll settle this the fun way!"

"Three on three!" finished Yazoo, smiling, and the triplets charged through the door without another word. They were _fast_—much, much faster than Sephiroth had anticipated—and it was a miracle Angeal had the chance to block Yazoo's gunfire with the flat of the Buster Sword.

Genesis, meanwhile, dodged Loz's punch and swung at his exposed back, only for him to whirl around and deflect the blow with his gauntlet, sending a shockwave through the redhead's body.

"We'll see if blood is truly thicker than water," sneered Kadaj, flipping in midair to use his momentum in his favor, but Sephiroth pushed his sword up horizontally to shove him away. This room was far too small for him to use Masamune with all his skill; he was at a serious disadvantage, especially given Yazoo's choice of weapon.

"Yes, we will," agreed Sephiroth, swinging at Yazoo's legs and successfully delaying his shots at Genesis (praying he chose not to target the unconscious girl on the bed). He wasn't going to deny that part of this encounter felt like fighting himself—but hey, it _was_ self-defense, perhaps more literally than usual.

Angeal pushed Kadaj backward with a few powerful thrusts from the Buster Sword, which were just barely parried by the admittedly much flimsier dual-bladed katana. Genesis ducked understandingly as Sephiroth met his eyes momentarily: he stabbed past his friend and nicked Loz's side with the very tip of Masamune, and he howled in pain, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Don't cry!" exclaimed Yazoo, smirking, but his apparent joy at his brother's expense was short-lived as Sephiroth kicked a gun out of his hand (which fired into the ceiling), using the hand which held the hilt to knock Yazoo to the ground and hold the blade to his neck.

Unfortunately, there was now a gun jabbing into his ribs, and his back was exposed to further attacks. Fortunately, neither of them particularly _wanted _to kill the other—though in Sephiroth's case, this stemmed more from apprehension about his punishment than any kind of brotherly love.

Loz chose that moment to try and attack Genesis, who sidestepped; his momentum caused him to lose his balance, falling onto Sephiroth and Yazoo (the latter gave a peculiar sound between a gasp and a scream as Masamune pressed into his neck, leaving a thin cut).

But Yazoo squeezed the trigger as retaliation: pain exploded in his lower chest. Sephiroth coughed convulsively and tasted blood, raising his hand to the spot to find that it came away wet and red. But the fight was far from over, and he merely staggered to his feet and stomped on a few strategic locations on Yazoo's body as retribution, paying _special_ care to the most sensitive of these and taking a moment to grin as he curled up. It may have been fighting dirty, but as far as he was concerned, Yazoo deserved it.

Genesis stumbled forward and charged, swinging his sword, and was apparently ready to behead Loz and Yazoo in one stroke—but Kadaj sprinted forward, with Angeal in hot pursuit, and and caught his blade between the prongs of his sword.

Loz twirled around in a way somewhat similar to breakdancing, knocking Genesis's legs out from under him, but Angeal stabbed his SOLDIER sword into the vambrace, letting go as soon as he did so. Electricity shivered up and down the sword, but served only to incapacitate Loz: he slumped to the ground exhaustedly beside his groaning brother.

Sephiroth noted suddenly that Kadaj was running up behind him, and the world seemed to move in slow motion as he stepped aside, the sword gleaming in the dim light as it cut through the air just next to him. Sephiroth elbowed him in the neck, and he coughed, stumbling: Sephiroth kicked the sword out of his hand (which stuck in the ceiling) and tackled him, kneeling on his hands and knees to keep his half-brother's unruly arms and legs in place.

And just like that, the fight was over. Kadaj glared up at Sephiroth with such venomous resentment in his gaze that he wondered for a moment whether they were _ever_ going to be able to see eye to eye—but then, he realized he didn't care.

"…Sephiroth," said Genesis worriedly, kneeling next to him and peering closely at his bloodied chest; Angeal crossed his arms, keeping an eye on Loz and Yazoo. "You should really get that looked at."

"Later," grunted Sephiroth, and in an effort not to raise any of his limbs and give Kadaj a chance to escape, he slammed his forehead down into his: Kadaj's eyes rolled back in his head before they finally closed, tense muscles relaxing beneath his hands.

Sephiroth clambered off his unconscious half-brother, but his satisfied grin quickly became a grimace, and he recognized that perhaps Genesis had a point. Wandering around with a hole in one's chest was never good for one's health.

But they still had a mess to clean up—starting with the ones who had created it.

"Do you suppose there's any rope or tape around?" asked Sephiroth thoughtfully, wiping his mouth. "They _do_ accommodate all kinds of fetishes in places like these, from what I've heard. So—what's in the closet?" he added, swaying in place as he pointed, and Genesis got to his feet to investigate.

"Genesis," chuckled Angeal, raising his eyebrows, and the redhead threw him a dirty look over his shoulder: Sephiroth's laugh quickly became a cough.

"Found some," said Genesis triumphantly after a moment of rummaging around, holding up a roll of duct tape in one hand and a few coils of ropes in the other. "Also, handcuffs, but they're pink and fuzzy and we'd probably get in trouble if we turned in a few unconscious minors wearing _those_."

"Being accused of non-consensual homosexual pedophilic incest is _not _on my to-do list," agreed Sephiroth, the strength going out of his legs: he sat down on the edge of the bed, out of breath. "Just—bind them hand and foot and let's get out of here." He swallowed thickly. If this gunshot killed him, he'd come back to haunt Angeal and Genesis, at least till they avenged his untimely demise.

"Agreed," said Angeal concernedly. "Come on, Genesis."

It took a little longer to tie them up than Sephiroth would have liked, given that the throbbing pain in his side was becoming more and more difficult to ignore, but eventually his three half-brothers were bound and gagged to his satisfaction.

"Let's go," said Sephiroth tightly, and his friends nodded. Genesis carried Kadaj in his arms, while Loz was slung across Angeal's back; he also carried Yazoo bridal style. (Sephiroth wouldn't have thought of it as such if his long silver hair spilling dramatically over Angeal's forearm wasn't so picturesque, reminiscent of a fair maiden. And besides, after everything Sephiroth had stepped on, for all he knew, that might have been the case…)

Sephiroth paused on his way out the door; the girl on the bed stirred, but did not awaken. Angeal and Genesis halted, glancing back. "Sephiroth?" asked Angeal warily, as he narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. 400 gil for a room they wouldn't be using? She would be getting away with murder, as much as the triplets.

He approached the bed quickly, slipped his hand down the front of her dress ("_Sephiroth!_" snapped Genesis, eyes wide and almost jealous), and—after fishing around a little—retrieved their money. The girl frowned, her eyes fluttering open just as he retracted his hand.

"Change of plans," Sephiroth explained, meeting her eyes coolly and jingling the coins in his fist. "We're leaving. Thanks for… everything," he added as a lame afterthought, following his friends and shutting the door.

Genesis sighed, and the group descended the stairs. "Was that necessary?" he muttered, turning sideways as Yazoo's head almost slammed into the wall (the still-conscious triplet made a panicked noise beneath his tape). "Come to think of it, how often have you touched a girl like that?"

Sephiroth sighed, throwing the coins onto the empty reception desk. They'd need them to help pay for the damages. "Never," he shrugged. "And that time was just to get our gil back."

Angeal chuckled as they made their way out the door one at a time. "Funny. You're quite the ladies' man, for having no experience."

"Never mind all this nonsense—how do you drive a motorcycle?" groaned Genesis, stopping in his tracks; no corpse awaited them. The clerk had probably fled and took it with him, assuming the man was even dead to begin with.

Angeal grinned in spite of the situation. "Let's find out. If three teenagers who have never been outside before can figure it out, I think a few First Class SOLDIERs can, too." He paused, the smile sliding off his face. "Sephiroth," he said worriedly. "I think you might have to drive. Are you going to be okay?"

"You'll know if I crash," was Sephiroth's dry response, as he straddled the motorcycle uncertainly; Genesis draped Kadaj awkwardly across his lap, his expression sincerely apologetic.

It was going to be a long and uncomfortable ride…

* * *

The good news was that they all made it back to Shinra in one piece. The bad news was that their reputations didn't. Lack of furry handcuffs notwithstanding, arriving at Shinra on three stolen motorcycles with three tied-up teenagers in tow was apparently a little bit suspicious.

Especially as the identity of the three thieves was unknown, except that at least one of them had silver hair. (Judging from the way things looked, _someone _had shot out the security camera.)

And all that meant that Sephiroth, Angeal, and Genesis were thought to be culpable—particularly since they were the ones to ride the motorcycles back up to the scene of the crime.

The skid marks on the first floor and in the stairwell could not prepare them for the complete destruction that awaited them on the second floor. _Nothing_ was intact; the items in the shop all appeared to be flattened, crushing any hopes Sephiroth had about buying a Potion or five, and the rug was almost completely torn up.

As they rode in, staring around, the terrified receptionist immediately pressed a button that closed and locked the elevator doors and ducked behind her desk, reaching a trembling hand towards the telephone.

Genesis sighed, turned off his motorcycle, and threw out his kickstand. Dismounting gracefully, he strode towards the desk, drew his sword, and smacked her hand away with the flat of the blade: the receptionist squealed as the point was touched ever so lightly to her throat.

"Look, we don't have time for interrogations," snarled Sephiroth, turning the key and clambering off as well—but his 'entrance' was a little less impressive given that he was slightly more focused on covering up the hole in his side. "Just unlock the elevator. We need to get to Level 68. Now."

The receptionist stared at the button next to her, her hands up and Genesis's sword at her throat. Angeal sighed, turning off his motorcycle, and walked over to press it.

After an intense pause, the doors slid open.

"Thanks," smiled Angeal, giving her a salute that bordered on the flirtatious. (And he'd been calling _Sephiroth _a ladies' man? Angeal was the people person of the group.) "Don't worry, you did your job just fine. We'll clear this whole mess up before morning if we can."

"_These_ three are the culprits," added Genesis, indicating the three half-conscious teenagers, and the receptionist nodded slowly. Her eyes were still very wide, and Sephiroth wondered if she understood, but it didn't matter: the doors were unlocked. Revenge and medical attention were both imminent.

* * *

"_Hojo_!" yelled Sephiroth, kicking down the office door despite Angeal and Genesis's clear concern, and staggered through.

The scientist turned around after a few uneventful seconds, maddeningly unruffled. "Yes?" he asked, taking in the scene with no change in his expression.

"Take them back, _now_," said Sephiroth, nodding to Genesis and Angeal, who laid their three still-dazed charges on the ground: Sephiroth kicked them over to Hojo, one by one, relishing their whimpers of pain.

Hojo nodded thoughtfully, lost in his own little world as usual. "Ah. I thought so."

"Are you even _listening_?" yelled Sephiroth, drawing Masamune, and Hojo only smiled at the blade. "No one can control those monsters! They stole a few motorcycles, might have killed someone, and illegally entered—"

"Shhh!" hissed Genesis, eyes wide, and Sephiroth remembered that they'd said they would kill him if anyone found out where they'd been. Hojo raised an eyebrow as Sephiroth shut his mouth abruptly, but asked no questions.

"And then, on the premises of that place, they started a fight, damaged the property, and we were forced to steal from them to subdue them!" finished Sephiroth. "I got shot—_look_!"

Hojo rolled his eyes and tossed him a half-empty Hi-Potion. Sephiroth took a few thirsty sips, except for _that was not a potion_. The liquid burned his throat and he spat it out, staring at the remaining sphere of spirits in his hand.

"_That's genever_!" roared Sephiroth, squeezing the orb like a stress ball—and Genesis and Angeal stepped forward to raid the office for an actualsolution.

"If you had just done as I asked, none of this would have happened," said Hojo calmly, kneeling next to the triplets and examining them closely, but did not touch their bindings (much to Sephiroth's unspoken relief). "Why did you try to run off?"

The same words _they _had used. "You shoved them—their impossible existence—on me without even giving me a chance to _think _about it," growled Sephiroth. "Do you expect me to be able to handle the responsibility of looking after them so soon?"

"I _expected_ you to act like a SOLDIER and deal with it," laughed Hojo, clapping his hands gleefully. "Imagine my delight when you surprised me with cowardice! I had only intended to weigh their combat abilities against yours," he added, his eyes on Sephiroth's bullet wound.

_What? _Sephiroth stared at him. How could he have been willing to put at least one First Class SOLDIER in a potentially deadly mission that wasn't even official? Why was someone so obviously insane working for Shinra, anyway?! "But the way things turned out was much, much better than the way I had anticipated!" gloated Hojo. "Who, besides myself, imagined for a moment that reunion theory would actually work?"

At this point, Sephiroth had had _enough_. Kicking Hojo to the ground, he rested Masamune's edge on his chest, clutching the hilt with both hands, ready to plunge it into his solar plexus. "Give me one good reason I shouldn't carve out your heart," he snarled.

Hojo only grinned. "You'll have to take care of these three?"

Sephiroth had sheathed his sword and stepped aside again almost before the scientist had even finished speaking. "Good point," he muttered. "Unless," he added as an afterthought, rubbing his jaw thoughtfully, "I just kill you _all_." Positioning his foot carefully on Hojo's diaphragm, he smiled, but it was more like a spasmodic grimace. "_How_ do they exist?"

Hojo only cackled, his eyes on Sephiroth's leather-booted calf. "Believe me, you _really_ don't want to know."

Sephiroth opened his mouth to retort furiously, but upon further reflection, found that he was actually more than prepared to take Hojo at his word. The answer would probably drive him crazy anyway. Well, crazi_er_.

"Found something," called Genesis suddenly, holding up a Hi-Potion from across the room, and Sephiroth gave the 'I'm watching you' sign to Hojo before stumbling over to the redhead, cursing with grit teeth as pain shot through his side. "I tasted it for you. It's a little dusty, but it'll do."

Sephiroth nodded, snatched it out of Genesis's hands, and drank it like a man dying of thirst, feeling the wound in his side close as the solution sank into his body. He'd worry about mopping up the bloodstains and repairing the hole in his jacket later. (It occurred to him that maybe this sort of accident was why some people wore armor on their torso instead of nothing—but armor was so much less _sexy_ than leather.)

"Hojo," he said, walking back over to the scientist, feeling merciful due to the absence of the pain in his side. "I'll let you and the whelps all live _if_ you clear our names and promise never to let them out of their room again."

Loz and Yazoo nodded encouragingly, eyes wide, while Kadaj simply regarded Sephiroth, his eyes unfocused but still full of hatred. The scientist looked him up and down, perhaps evaluating his sincerity, before responding carefully. "Done to the first."

"And the second?" pressed Sephiroth, crossing his arms.

Hojo sighed heavily. "Well, reunion theory is difficult to test when they're locked away. Today's results are definitely a start, but that's only one experim—"

"I don't _care_ about your blasted reunion theory," shouted Sephiroth, taking a step forward with clenched fists, and Angeal rested a warning hand on his shoulder.

"You might someday," shrugged Hojo, looking him piercingly in the eye, and Sephiroth threw his hands in the air in a gesture of defeat. At this point, he just needed a break.

"Anyway, thank you all for the invaluable data you've provided me tonight," smiled Hojo, knowing the argument was won. "I hope this is the beginning of a long and productive partnership. I'll take care of these three." He indicated the three bound and gagged teenagers, who squirmed, alternately looking up at him pleadingly or glaring at Sephiroth and company.

"You do that," muttered Sephiroth, ignoring the gazes of his half-brothers. He turned on his heel and strode out the door, followed closely by Angeal and Genesis—praying that Hojo's second-to-last statement was a joking one. One could never be sure with mad scientists.

There was an incredibly uncomfortable silence as the trio walked along the corridors.

"I'm sorry for suggesting visiting the Honey Bee Inn," mumbled Sephiroth eventually, half-sincerely, glancing at his friends out the corners of his eyes as they stepped out onto his floor. "That was… an extreme solution."

"…It was a valid plan," said Genesis soothingly, if hesitantly. "Even if it did fall through in the end. But I don't think that was _your_ fault." Angeal nodded in agreement, but he was glowering, and Sephiroth knew his forgiveness would have to be earned.

"I'm still going to kill you if word of it ever gets out," said Angeal finally, just as they arrived at Sephiroth's bedroom. "Losing my honor is not something I ever thought I would do. Least of all for your sake."

"Losing your honor," chuckled Genesis, as Sephiroth unlocked his door and—after breathing a heavy sigh of relief that everything was still intact—made a beeline for his bed. "To Sephiroth." Sephiroth spun the orb of gin on one finger pensively, his mind on the magic that condensed it into a ball like this.

Angeal gave a drawn-out, exasperated sigh as he shut the door. "Yeah, because I don't have a _girl_friend or anything. Besides, you're the one who keeps drawing pictures of him nak—"

"You keep your dirty hands off my diary!" snapped Genesis, turning a few shades closer to his hair, and Sephiroth smiled vaguely, closing his eyes contentedly to the lullaby of his best friends' bickering.

Then he hesitated, opening his eyes again, and popped the sphere of alcohol into his mouth, swallowing before either Angeal or Genesis could look over at him.

After a night like this, he _needed_ a drink.


End file.
